Frustrated: Black American Men in Brazil

“Al Greeze decided to produce Frustrated after reading a September 2006 Essence Magazine article (Blame it On Rio) written by Professor William Jelani Cobb, which stated that African men were travelling to Brazil for sex vacations with Brazilian prostitutes and the adulation of the Brazilian women Greeze wanted to either confirm or deny and reveal the answers from the men themselves and find out if it is for love and companionship or just sex. The effect may have been suspected but what is the cause?”

Given that the topic was supposed to be treated as a response to the Essence article, I don’t think the documentary did a great job of responding to that question. They just grazed the surface and the men in the documentary skirted the issue of really talking about the role of the Brazilian women in their trips to Brazil.

The only Brazilian women shown, towards the end, are not representative of Brazilian women and appear to be not much more than (glorified) call girls. If the men that come down don’t speak Portuguese, then it’s rather obvious that no kind of deeper connection can be made with these kinds of women (such women look like they need a deeper connection just about as much as the men interviewed looked like they need it, which is to say they don’t).

 

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7 thoughts on “Frustrated: Black American Men in Brazil

  1. When I saw that video referenced and discussed in The Root, I immediately thought of one simple reason why it is easier for a humble Black man to date in Brazil than in the United States.

    In Brazil, it’s nice if a man has a car, but it’s not essential. A Brazilian woman is more than happy to work with a Brazilian man until they can get married and buy a car together. Same with a house. In my experience in Brazil, it is possible to date and marry a Brazilian woman without owning a car and without being particularly wealthy.

    In the United States, many Black women have a personal rule against dating a man who doesn’t own a car. For that reason alone, it makes more sense for me to seek to date a woman in Brazil than in the United States.

    It’s not that I couldn’t get a car if I wanted one. It’s that women in the US show themselves to be so materialistic that they are unattractive as people. They’re not looking for a mate. They’re looking, first and foremost, at what a potential mate can GIVE them.

    I once dated a woman in the United States who told me she wanted her husband to buy her a house with five bathrooms. She wasn’t kidding! Even educated Brazilian women from well-off families don’t expect a house with five bathrooms.

    Moreover, Brazilian women are willing to work hard, alongside their husbands, to improve their financial status. They are willing to marry a man who has nothing but a strong ambition for a modest and stable family life.

    However, American Black women will gravitate toward the guy with a Benz and won’t even consider a guy who has nothing but ambition and who has, for example, a desire to finish college and enter a career.

    American Black women want to meet the guy who ALREADY has the career and the money. Well, obviously by that time, the guy has MANY more alternatives and can CHOOSE to just play Black women instead of marrying one. And why SHOULD he marry a Black woman and share his affluence if she didn’t to anything to help him to create it?

    A Black woman in the United States who wanted to marry for love could easily travel to Brazil and find herself a highly intelligent young man who would be very successful if he could just get a college education. Even for highly intelligent young Brazilian Black men, that education if often out of reach. That’s a problem that an intelligent Black US woman could easily solve for a Black Brazilian man, by marrying him and giving him access to financial aid available in the US.

    A Black woman from the US could marry that intelligent man, bring him to the states for an excellent education, and build a life with him. But, she won’t. Because he doesn’t have a car yet. He can’t make her wealthier yet.

    I know a white guy from the US who came down here, bought a B&B and has three kids with a Brazilian wife. They can’t afford a car and, of course, the wife would like to have one. But, she’s not gonna divorce her husband when she can live life on life’s terms and ride the bus instead.

    Before Black women curse Brazil, they should visit Brazil and see what it has to offer them. Intelligent and educated Black women would find many potential Black male mates here. But, if it’s only about finding a Black man who can make them wealthier RIGHT NOW (not over time) then they might as well stay in the United States.

    • I agree with your analysis, Francis. I briefly discussed the video with a female friend from NYC, who is black, and who lived in Rio for a time. She was/is strictly against the men in the video, though I pointed out the same viewpoint that you mentioned in your comment to her. While I don’t necessarily agree with the men in the video, in the sense of finding a woman who falls into traditional gender roles and who speaks a different language, one that “I” (as a hypothetical person interviewed in the documentary) don’t understand, I (Adam) do personally understand the things you point out.

      I’m currently in a relationship with a Brazilian woman, yet I have no car and I’m still working on establishing my profession, yet she is totally understanding of it and accepts me for who I am.

  2. This make me laugh a lot! Im Brazilian, these Brazilians girls on the vídeo dont even know how to speak portuguese. This video should be forbbiden. The girls are from the lowest social class. They are looking for a man who could rescue them from the poverty they live. Every women in the world want a man who could maintain the family, give a good live for them. This is not different here in Brazil. It is very hard to understand men. They want to be treated with all benefits, but now a days they can not pay all the bills from a house. The wives must go to the job market, became professional, helping to keep a house, give birth to babies, play the housewife role, and as the guy on the video said “put the straw in his juice”! Come on, if you want a woman who is a goddess of love, a perfect housewife you must pay for it, give to her at least a good infraestructure, not cheating, be a good man to have a good woman.

  3. I watched the documentary and thought that it was really interesting. I didn’t agree with every point that the men made but I did find that some of the black women were basically making a better argument for them.

    Two things:

    The men were typically willing to own up to their contribution to the problems in terms of the education and pay gap. They were even willing to acknowledge some of their (general not them specifically) attitudes that were not conducive to relationships to black women. So seeing the obvious incompatibilities were opting to move to Brazil were things were more compatible with their wants and needs.

    The women, on the other hand, never seemed to own up to how they may have caused part of the rift. In their minds, their demands were all reasonable, their expectations were within line, and their priorities were beyond reproach. However, they had plenty to say as they speculated on the corrupted motives of the men, implying that they were simply driven by sex, underage prostitution, or looking for someone too impoverished to stand up to them. There was almost no introspection and certainly there was no move toward a compromise. And inspite of all that, they were the primary ones upset with not having a mate.

    I personally thought that it was sad that even in the face of their situation that the black women’s first instinct was to defend her position instead of exploring ways to turn things around. Its very easy to see why these guys would simply throw up their hands and move on.

  4. Is this a real issue? What percentage of AA males are married to Afro-Brazilian, or any Brazilian women?
    And how is it that there’s a significant number of AA males who can afford to go to Brazil but not pay child support, or for a real date???? Something is not adding up.

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